In Loving Memory
by Librarian Runner
Summary: Paradise is not all that it was cut out to be. At least Minho thinks this when Newt is not there with him. He missed his crank lover. He missed his golden locks, his beautiful voice, and most of all, his wonderful, nurturing nature he fell in love with. When Minho realizes he can't live without Newt and goes on a journey of self-discovery he finds he is very similar to Newt.


In Loving Memory- Poet by Bastille Song Fic

**Paradise can't be paradise without you. That's how we all feel. I miss you the most, there's no competition there. I'm going to find you, I promise even if it's what kills me. I love you and can't wait to find you. They say I've become obsessed, but I say I'm just being faithful to you, love. They just don't understand because they haven't lost their whole world, their reason for living. That's why I've got to find you: for me, for you, and most importantly, for us. **

Obsession it takes control,

Obsession it eats me whole.

I can't say the words out loud,

So in a rhyme I wrote you down.

Now you'll live through the ages,

I can feel your pulse in the pages.

**I've started my journey for you today. They tried to stop me again, but I didn't listen to them like they knew they I wouldn't. Why they are using fruitless efforts against my supposedly fruitless efforts I have no idea. They're a bunch of hypocrites, but you weren't near them long enough to know this. I'm writing this down in case something ever happens to either of us. Your memory will live forever in these pages if the real you doesn't. It pains me to think that there is the small chance that I will never find you because you're dead. I only stay optimistic because otherwise my pessimistic side will overpower me and I will give up. I learned how to not let my negative emotions overwhelm me from you. It's one of the many thing I learned from you and still use to this day. After your depression and attempt I became stronger, grew up and learned that I may never be enough for you and may lose you. Now, though, I can't even think about you not being here without breaking down or even hurting myself. You're right, though, the pain inside is way more powerful than any pain you can inflict on yourself. My heart and soul ache for you, long for your presence, and hurt from your absence. I have to go now, I miss you so much though. Please know this even if I die before seeing you again. It's my dying wish I'm making in advance because I know there's nothing more I want, except for seeing you, but even I know that's impossible.**

I have written you down

Now you will live forever

And all the world will read you

And you will live forever

In eyes not yet created

On tongues that are not born

I have written you down

Now you will live forever

**I drew a rough sketch of you, so if anyone ever finds this they will know what you look like, and maybe even find you and give you this book. This thought keeps me going along with the thought of seeing you again. I even wrote a little poem called "The Shining Sun". It's about you and how you saved me and my pathetic little life. You kept me going even when you were weak and I thank you for that. I'm not very good with words or expressing my emotions, but you already know this, so I've resorted to terrible haikus and pictures of you and us when we were happy. Before all that's happened, before this hell we called life now. You'll live for ages and I couldn't be happier for you. I did this! You deserve to always be alive, and I'm happy to have taken a part in it. Let this be my last gift to you. I love you and always will even after I've passed and you continue to live on.**

Your body lies upon the sheet,

Of paper and words so sweet.

I can't say the words,

so I wrote you into my verse.

Now you'll live through the ages,

I can feel your pulse in the pages.

**I've read over this book again and again so many times I've lost count. I cry almost every time after I've finished. I keep thinking how I'm dying and won't get to say goodbye to you. It really hurts to think I've come so far, but I cannot even see my goal from here. I can't see you, I can't feel you here, and I can't hold you anymore. Only in this journal do you live, do you survive, do you thrive; I've finally come to terms with your death and my upcoming one. At least if I die the misery and torture of living without you will stop. I will get to see you again, hold you again, and be with you again. It's all I can wish for and I'm sort of scared to say I can't wait because I know you wouldn't want it to be this way, but without you I'm weak and, at this point I don't care anymore. All I care about is seeing you again and I know you won't be mad at me for long, but rather, grateful to see me like I will be to see you again.**

I have read him with these eyes

I have held him in these hands.

I have written you down

Now you will live forever

And all the world will read you

And you will live forever

In eyes not yet created

On tongues that are not born

I have written you down

Now you will live forever

Minho sat down on the lone rock in the middle of the barren wasteland. He sighed, head in hands, before looking up with bleary eyes at his dreary surroundings. This was his last day. "Not quite as I imagined it, but suiting," He thought sadly. He gazed up at the setting sun one last time before planning to do what had to be done. A lone tear escaped from his saddened dark brown eyes. "Sorry, Newt. It wasn't supposed to end like this, but you weren't supposed to become a crank either," these were the last words he uttered before he pulled the dagger from its sheath. He smiled sadly, a look of melancholy all over his tanned and weathered face. He raised the sharp dagger to his throat and took one final look at the desert around him before pressing the dagger down and slicing his throat, ending his life. Right before he bled out he heard, "Minho! No!" screamed from the throat of an all too familiar person. His last thought was, " I can't wait to see you, love. To see you Newt."


End file.
